Ain't No Mom Jeans

Shop Your Closet / Reader Q: Baseball Hats! (And Other Hat Baby-Steps)

Reader Question:

Hi Ain't No Mom Jeans --

I love reading your blog, and I have a burning fashion question. In recent years my eyes have become super sensitive, and I find myself wearing a baseball hat with sunglasses almost every time I have to stand outside for a long time. I'm thinking there has to be a cuter way to shield my eyes, but I'm a little bit afraid of a fashion statement hat. Any hat suggestions to stand in for my sloppy baseball hats?

thanks!!

- ali. (bay area, CA)

 

 

Answer:

Ali - Thanks for writing in!  Baseball hats are so crazy-relevant right now that I say, keep wearing 'em!  Seriously!  Want some inspiration?  Try this...

 

(photo credits, clockwise from top left:  J.Crew | Style Activist | Sartorialist for Style.com | Philly Weekly Style Blog)

 

Personally, I'm kinda loving the look of keeping your hair down with the cap (like that cutie in the glasses), or in a low, messy pony (like the J.Crew image above).   I'll bet a romantic half-up/half-down do' would work also. 

Here's my take:

 (wearing: Levi's denim leggings, Frye Carmen 3 strap boots, J.Crew factory chambray shirt, J.Crew sweatshirt, Anthropologie poncho)

See that "C"?  It's for the Coopertown Padres, Mamas.  

Shop Your Closet: Try Pairing Dresses and Sweatshirts

Mamas, I'm so bugged when I have something in my closet that I barely wear.  Especially when that something is crazy-fabulous, comfortable, and flattering.  Like my old DVF wrap dress that I "invested" in years ago.  (Snort.  Mike loves it when I use money-managing words to describe clothes.  Like when you "save" money by shopping sales...instead of...not...shopping?  I know.  I don't get it either.)

But it's been sitting in my closet, untouched, for years.  I mean yeah - I was too poochy to pull it off for a while.  But my problem with many dresses (and this wrap dress in particular) is that it's easy to fall into this old thought-pattern:

1. Wear only when it's warm
2. Wear under a cardigan
3. Wear under a jacket

Yawn!  I'm sick of cardigans, and throwing a jacket over makes me feel like I'm either going to work or out on the town.  Sometimes "too fussy" is the death of an item.  

So on a recent visit to the aquarium, I decided to give the wrap dress one final try.  

I threw a lightweight sweatshirt over it.  While most dresses are reasonably well-behaved under a topper, a wrap dress is knot.  That pesky knot bulges out unattractively.

I decided to use the wrapped fabric as a belt, and do a half-tuck of the sweatshirt to show off the knot.  The result?  Surprisingly flattering - it almost looks like a high-waisted skirt:

Shop Your Closet: Try The Monochromatic Trend....Mom-Style

Mamas, did you see this pic?  It's currently on the front of jcrew.com...

 

Monochromatic dressing at it's best.  The model is rocking shades of the same color, as well as different textures.  Awesome.  

But man...this look is a pretty big commitment to tangerine.   I'm willing to bet that most of us don't own five (five!!) pieces of clothing in matching-ish hues (black and gray do not count...nor does white or navy).

Madewell has a slightly-toned-down version:

"Start with our Garment-Dyed Midi Shorts, then pile on pieces in the same color family.  Voila!"  says Madewell.

So I surveyed my closet.  My momdrobe consists of a whole lotta cotton, cotton and more cotton (throwing "varying textures" out the window)...in mostly navy, white and gray.

So I expanded my search to include night-out pieces.  And I came up with this little outfit....which would be perfect for a moms night out:

(wearing: old Gap cowlneck top, J Brand waxed purple denim, purple heels by Kimel - similar here) 

Shop Your Closet: Solve the Keep-or-Toss Problem With a Picture (in other words, a high-waist denim failure)

Mamas, sometimes the key to shopping your closet is knowing what (and when) to purge.  You just can't make good outfit choices with a closet stuffed full of unflattering, ill-fitting items.  But when something has sentimental value...it can take us (or at least me) a loooong time to say goodbye.  But man, pictures sure help speed up this process.

I've written before about high-waisted denim for post-partum moms.  It's a strange strategy, to be sure, but my old high-waisted Sevens served me well after each baby was born.  Of course, I never showed off the high-waist (which included a jelly-belly squeezing out of the top), wearing them instead with my favorite pooch-hiding sweater.  

You'd never know they were high-waisted.

But my pooch is starting to shrink (albeit very slowly), and high-waisted denim is great choice for all of the shorter tops we're seeing this season.  And tucking a little tee into a pair of high-waisted denim is such a cute nod to the 70's.  

So I busted them out.  You've actually seen this outfit before....but not the a full body shot.  Why?  'Cause I hate it.

What's the problem?  Oh...so, so, so many things.  But let's just start with the fact that I look like a munchkin and go from there:

This outfit has so much potential.  But those pants....sigh.  Those pants.  It's time to say goodbye.

But goodbye was made infinitely easier by finding an awesome pair of high-waisted denim on sale at Nordstroms.  Hello, Mother Denim.  Look at the difference:

Shop Your Closet: Wear a Dress With Pants

Yup.  We're here again.  Anyone as old as I will remember this trend quite clearly.  First we donned dresses over bootcut denim, then gravitated to skinnies.  Remember?

Now...I'm really liking dresses over flares.

There's such a fab 70's vibe going on (still), that a flowy dress over flares just feels...right.  

Shop Your Closet: Wear Socks With Your Loafers

Mamas, I have always had a soft spot for geeks.  I, myself, am a geek.  I married a geek.  And, if I do my job correctly, my sons will also grow up to be geeks.  

Go geeks, go.

(wearing: J. Crew sweater, J Brand cropped denim - similar here, Gap leopard-print socks, Sperry woven loafers)

Shop Your Closet: Layer a Tee Over a Blouse (or Button-Down)

My least favorite thing about Denver?  These guys:

Super-sized Miller Moths.  They are almost as big as these guys:

I swear! Really!  And I'm terrified of them.  Terrified.  

Where I come from moths are tiny little things, much smaller than a butterfly.  So imagine my surprise upon moving to Denver to find that my house, almost every Spring, would be invaded by these furry bird-like moths.  That swoop at my head and get tangled in my hair.  [shudder]  The worst, however, the absolute WORST, was that these things would lurk in my shower, just waiting to pounce.  Once, I was happily showering away, reached for the shampoo bottle and BAM!  A Miller Moth jumped out and flew - through the shower spray -  straight at my chest.  I was wet, of course, from the shower, so he stuck there.  Stuck. To. My. Chest.  I shrieked some inhuman kind of scream, clawing at my chest and tried to run and open our shower door and ended up doing all of it at once so I ended up just smashing my head on the half-opened shower door and knocking myself - still screaming - on my bum.

It - the moth - was still there. On my chest.

Somehow - I don't quite remember how exactly - I ended up getting the thing off of me, leaping out of the shower and running naked and crying into the living room.  Where Mike was calmly sitting.  SITTING!!!!  He looked up in surprise as he saw me crying.  "Didn't you hear me???????"  I sobbed.  "Geez Babe," he said.  "I heard a scream but it was, you know, just your moth scream."

He heard a few other screams then, if my memory serves.

But now, happily, Raines takes care of most bug problems when Mike isn't home.  And while Miller Moths are terrifying, they are not nearly as damaging as the fleet of teeeny tiiiny little moths that have eaten their way through many of Mike's sweaters and a few of my own.  And since I'm totally adverse to using chemicals in the house, I haven't been able to totally get rid of them.  Sigh. Any advice?

My point, however, is that one of my old standbys, a cream cashmere tee, has now been put to rest.  RIP cashmere tee.  I would wear my old cashmere tee like a sweater - over button-downs or blouses.  Like this, actually:

(photo credit: J.Crew)

Fabulous, no?  So I'm saving my pennies to replace it.  But in the meantime....I was wondering if I could use any other kind of tee?  Must it be cashmere, or even sweater-like?  For example, I have a silk tee, bought on super-sale at Banana that I use for work primarily because it covers the pooch nicely:

Shop Your Closet: Layer Thigh High Socks Over Your Tights

Yup.  I'm still messing around with these things.  You first saw them here, where I used a little flash of thigh to distract from my post-partum tum and dark-circled eyes.  Pretty effective, actually.  And a thicker, less dressy pair here, when I channeled my husband's fourth-grade self (Wow - I just made Mike sound like a cross-dresser.  Just to clarify:  He was/is NOT.)  

In any case, I own a couple of thigh-highs, but they don't get used nearly enough to justify the enormous amount of room they take up in my sock drawer.  So I decided to mess around with the black pair, seeing if I could make them both daytime appropriate and mom-friendly.

Incidentally, thigh-highs (or over-the-knee-socks, if you prefer) always look spot-on peeking out over the top of over-the-knee boots.  

I do not own over-the-knee boots.  

So.  

I tried them on with my tallest boots:

(wearing: J.Crew cashmere v-neck sweater, Banana Republic scarf, Forever 21 shorts and tights, Plush thigh-highs, vintage Frye boots) 

Not bad, right?  But I hardly reach for my vintage Fryes on a daily basis.  So to keep this look mom-friendly, I tried black flats:

Shop Your Closet: Temporarily Shorten That Summer Maxi For Winter Snow Stomping

Reader Amber was one of our readers who tested out a pair of Hanes run-resistant stockings.  They tore as she pulled them on.  Needless to say, she wasn't impressed.  

I was impressed, however, with her outfit that accompanied her Hanes write-up.  In the pic above she's showing us the hole in her stockings, but what's actually going on here is the fact that she shortened one of her long summer maxi dresses - temporarily - for winter use.  Here's another pic:

Shop Your Closet: Bringing Sexy "Back"...Wiiith a Cardigan

I can't remember where I originally saw this styling trick.  Some avant-garde fashion blogger spun her cardigan around and wore it backwards, thus prompting a rash of copycats...but like our mothers taught us (and we will most likely teach our kids) imitation is the highest form of flattery.

In any case, I tried it.  I thought the v-back was too low...until I realized that it was a perfect way to show off a pretty racerback. 

Kinda fun, no?  

But the front was another story.  To make it look cute and shirt-like, I had to use some belt trickery: