Ain't No Mom Jeans

What To Wear Under Racerback Tops and Dresses

Reader Question:

Hi! First of all, I love your blog. It has truly helped me re-do my "mom-drobe" and get back to looking like a regular person.

I love these racer back tank tops (pictured at left from madewell.com), but I never know what to wear under them. I usually do a strapless bra, but I feel like I need something else because the arm holes are usually really big and reveal most of the bra, not to mention someone could sneak a peak at my back/belly flab :)

Should I layer another tank underneath? If so, does that have to be racer back as well, but tighter? Do I try to find a tube top or something? Help!

Thanks!!
-Julie

Answer:

Julie - LOVE your taste in tops.  I'm also a huge Madewell fan - a perfect place to look for non "mom-drobe" items.  And I think I'm going to have to steal your phrase "mom-drobe".  Look for it in future posts.  :)

In terms of what to put under a racerback....try one of the following strategies:

15 Totally Hot, One-Piece Swimsuits For Moms

It's taken me over two years as a mom to be able to say this...but I now think that one-piece swimsuits deserve a little love.  The current crop of one-piece swimsuits are not only practical and flattering, they are downright hot.  Hot in a wildly sexy way.  And let's face it, for postpartum moms facing a looong summer, do they really have any other valid options?  The postpartum jelly-belly is pretty frightening.  And even if you've managed to tone down the jelly-belly, many of us just don't look like we used to.  So if the thought of lounging pool-side in a bikini (while your flab hangs out with its best friend, Gravity) makes you want to run screaming....fear not.

...

Post-Baby Pooch?  Ruche it Away!

  The brown suit pictured at left is the Sweetheart One Piece by Ron Beattie for La Blanca, $119 at Nordstroms.com.  This suit offers good support for the 'girls' (shelf bra with foam-lined cups), as well as a seriously ruched midsection to hide any post-baby belly.  

Need more tummy control?

Miraclesuit's Sonatina One Piece (shown at right in gray), boasts shirring at the bust, straps and waist to make you look 10 lbs trimmer.  This suit has some post-baby belly banishing powers.  The Sonatina is available at Nordstroms.com for $130.

Need better support for the girls (at a lower price point)?

Reading: The Best Swimsuit Guide For Real Body Types on Glamour.com

M and I have often thought that a killer Ain't No Mom Jeans article would be a before-and-after series using real moms and swimwear.  You know - get real moms to volunteer, then help them find a more flattering bathing suit.

Any volunteers?

See, that seems to be the problem. Not many of us (myself and M included) have any burning desire to be photographed in our swimwear, then uploaded to the web.  Not even for "educational" purposes.  (NOTE:  If you are that brave and live in Denver, shoot us an email. We'd love to help.)

Thankfully, Glamour magazine has found folks much braver than most.  Glamour's article, How To Find the Sexiest Swimwear For Your Body Shape, is probably the best swimsuit guide for real bodies that I've found to date.  They use real women (not models) and show before-and-after pics for each woman, as well as listing a few other swimsuit options per body type.  Their real women models are all young, and Glamour doesn't deal with mom issues specifically (like nursing or maternity, for example) but they do cover a wide range of body types including: athletic, curvy, apple shapes, large bust, and a small pooch (pic shown above).  

I have a newfound respect for the one-piece suit.

Thanks, Glamour!!

xo,

S

How To Wear Swim Skirts

Us Moms, we love ourselves some swim skirts.  I say this, because every time I'm at the pool, the moms in swim skirts are out in force.  And I get the appeal.  After baby, there's just a bit more cellulite, a bit of softening, a bit of droop. Yes.  But swim skirts are tricky - they are hardly the panacea of mom-friendly swimwear.

J.Crew's tulle swim skirt (pictured at left) is one of my very favorite swim skirt options.  To keep it mom-friendly, I'd pair it with a simple solid color halter top instead of the bandeau top.  Unfortunately...most of the swim skirts at the pool are not nearly this cute.  What makes the difference?  (Hint - it's not the tulle)

Should You Buy Maternity Swimwear? (Swimwear Tips By Trimester)

Dressing a pregnant body has its challenges.  Dressing a pregnant body in next-to-nothing is a whole different ball game.  One on hand, your boobs are fab.  On the other hand, depending on the trimester and the type of pregnancy, you are dealing with an expanding waistline (and butt), cellulite, odd skin discolorations and a whole host of other changes.  "Baring it all" takes on a whole new meaning.

First Trimester

If you will be going through the summer in your first trimester (and it's your first baby), the key thing to realize is this:  you will not actually look pregnant.  Your boobs will be nice and full (you may go up a cup size or two), and you will mostly likely look thick in the middle, but you will not necessarily look pregnant.  Here's the first trimester bikini body rundown:

Boobs:  Fab and full

Butt:  Most likely bigger, cellulite might start, even if you haven't ever had it before

Stomach:  At best it'll be soft, at worst, flabby

Rest of your body:  General softening - watch for muffin tops and back fat!

Best Swimwear Strategies For the First Trimester

1.  Try a swingy tankini top.

If you are very self-conscious about your thickening middle section, then a swingy tankini top is your best bet. 

Postpartum gals:  This swim option will also work post-baby to help cover any remaining jelly-belly. 

I've already mentioned the DKNY Faux Wrap Tankini pictured at left in red, but I also really like J.Crew's tankinis because they have a nice amount of swing.  The Twist Front Swing Top is shown strapless below, but does come with a detachable halter (which you'll need post-baby). 

 

Where Moms Can Find Cute Swimwear (that fits a mom's body)

My sister texted me, in a rage:  "SHANA.  I just bought a swimsuit at Target.  Size? XL!!!  Who can possibly wear a small?????"

My sister is not a big girl.  In fact, she's pretty tiny.  But places like Target (or Forever 21, or Old Navy) often end up making swimwear that is much better suited to a 23 year old body.  Or for a 12 year old.  Stuff like this:

 

This model has the tinest little bum I've ever seen.  So cute.

Even my relative happiness at finding a Gap Bikini last year (See Your Pre-Baby Body Called, it Says it's Not Coming Back)...resulted in my returning home with a size large top.  Yes, I was nursing, but "the girls" had calmed down (I'd been nursing Raines for 18 months at that point), and anyway, I'm typically an A cup.  Sooo...someone who starts out as a gasp! C cup is then forced to buy an...XXL?  That's crazy.  And hard to find.   

Add to this mess the fact that we need swimwear to help hide our c-section scars, poochy stomachs, muffin tops, and cellulite -- all while chasing the kiddos around.  Oh yeah - and we'd like to look hot and young, not dowdy.

What Target Does Best: Spring / Summer Picks

I have such a love-hate relationship with Target.  I even went so far as to call Target "mom crack" in a previous post.  But, eventually, I'm drawn back in.  Usually after issuing some ultimatum. 

To M:  "I am NEVER going to buy clothes at Target again!  I'm serious - it's my New Year's Resolution." 

Ultimatums usually get me in trouble.  Like my "I will never co-sleep" ultimatum, or my "My kid will NOT be a picky eater" ultimatum. (Yeah, right.)  The list goes on, really.

So true to form, despite my "resolution" this year, I have just returned - VICTORIOUS - from Target, loaded with all kinds of insanely cheap-yet-adorable clothing.  Sigh.  I'm back in love.  For now. 

The Liberty of London for Target Collection helped woo me back in, but it wasn't the only source of temptation under those fluorescent lights.  A perfect romper (thanks to M's post I have a full-on romper addiction), look-alike Hunter Rainboots, and a perfect tiny cross-body bag -- all under $20!!! -- sold me. 

Here are my favorite picks for Spring / Summer:

Our Sexy Tips on Rookie Moms

Rookie Moms asked us to guest post on easy ways to make moms feel sexy...just in time for Valentine's Day! 

 When the topic of sex (or sexy) comes up, I always find it helpful to chat with my husband.  Not only does he always have an opinion on this topic, but it is usually something very simple and to the point.  When asked what “items” a mom could wear to look sexier, his response (after the eye-roll) can best be summarized by the punch-line of the old joke: “Show up naked.  Bring beer.”

But….the problem, as I see it, is that sexiness is just as much about a feeling as it is about a certain look.  Yes, we can show up naked (with beer), and we love that you guys just look past poochy stomaches and saggy boobs and merely focus on the fun that’s about to start….but for us (or me, at least) it’s not so easy.  I need to feel it.

Click here to read the rest of the article and to see our easy tips on adding a little something-something to your wardrobe. 

Also check out the "sexy police" link at the bottom of the article.  Double bonus points to any of you that can actually rock this look.  LOL

xo,

S

Easy, Last Minute "Lingerie" For a Romantic Night In

When I was first married, I made it a rule to always wear sexy little nighties to bed.  After several months of this nonsense (in my defense I was only 23), I crashed into bed after working late wearing an old ratty t-shirt of my husband's.  He immediately rolled over, eyed me up and said, "Oooo...what's this little number?" without a trace of sarcasm.  Or irony.  Needless to say, the sexy little nighties were relegated to the back of the closet.

The morale of this story?  Don't underestimate the power of change. Something different, something novel can be very, very sexy.  Even if it's a ratty old t-shirt.  It's the frequency that matters.

I suspect, however, that most of us spend more time than we'd like to admit in a ratty old t-shirt. So clearly, I'm not going to advise any mom to show up this Valentine's Day by wearing - surprise!!! - the ratty, spit-up stained t-shirt and sweatpants your man has been looking at for months.  Unless you want to whip them off right then and there and do a burning-of-the-sweatpants ritual that involves lots of naked sweaty dancing.  Cause if that's what you had in mind then yeah, go ahead.  He'll love it. 

But for the rest of us, if you want to try and have a special Valentine's Day (it is on a weekend, after all), but don't want to spend the rest of this week dragging a toddler into Victoria's Secret dressing rooms (and you've already missed the online ordering cut-off)....let me offer an easy alternative: 

Items in this set:
Gilligan & O’Malley® Ultimate 1-pc. Cami : Target, $9.08
Women's shoes/bags: Michael Antonio Torrance - Black, $25
The wear-everywhere push-up bra, $32
NEW! Peek-a-boo ribbon cheeky satin panty, $26
Graffiti Rhumba

Consider this set a DIY version of lingerie.  Find some cute, sexy panties (you probably already have some, but if not you can easily find them anywhere from Target to Neimans), pair with a little cami and add your flirtiest pair of high heels.

Saggy chest?  Add a push-up bra.

Poochy stomach?  Use a swing-y tank.

Cellulite on your bum?  Don't look in the mirror.  It's all about attitude anyway. 

You can even use your old nursing cami, if necessary.  Between the sexy panties, the high heels, and the sheer novelty of Holy Crap!  No sweatpants!  you are guaranteeing yourself an, "Oooo...what's this little number?"

xo,

S

Lingerie To Make Moms (or Anyone) Feel Spoiled and Sexy

I love gorgeous lingerie.  It makes me feel not only sexy, but spoiled.  And I like feeling a little spoiled.  Always have.  In fact, right at this very moment, my closet contains a small arsenal of lacy, silky something-somethings...none of which fit anymore.  ARGH!!!  While I've happily weeded out all of my pre-baby clothes that no longer fit, I haven't been able to bring myself to weed out the lingerie.  I keep hoping that one day we will be happily reunited.

I'm still waiting. 

So there it is.  It might be time to move on.  Since shopping always makes me feel just a wee bit better about...well, anything really (sick, I know), I started looking for a new little silky something as a consolation prize of sorts.  

And there are all kinds of gorgeousness out there.  I just don't want to wear (most of) them. While I'm sure my husband would love me in anything, quite frankly it's not about him.  It's about me.  I need something that makes me feel gorgeous.  And playful.  And flirty.  Something that isn't too serious.  Something that can get me out of the "Mom" frame of mind, but something also that makes me feel comfortable in my post-baby body.  So yes - I'm looking for the Holy Grail of mom lingerie.

Did I find it?  Nah.  But I found some gorgeous-playful-flirty lingerie that is certainly worth a try.   Don't be afraid:  there are no crotchless (or tasseled) anythings.