Ain't No Mom Jeans

Help! A Reader Needs Emergency Styling Advice For Valentine's Day!

Reader Question:  

Hi Shana & Molly,

I have recently discovered your blog and I have been loving it ever since.  Each time I read a post it reminds me that it is possible to be a mom and at the same time, a person (I think you know what I mean here).   I am a mom to one 15 month old son, and his birth and first few months of life were pretty traumatizing to me, and by this I mean I was essentially a basket case in pajamas for 3 months.   Yes, I know this happens to everyone, but I took it....HARD.  I couldn't figure out how to be Enzo's mom, but still be myself.  I was not that embarrassed to admit I kind of wanted to return to work so I would have a reason to get up, blow dry my hair, and pull it together!  I didn't realize how much I loved my job and the feelings of accomplishment I had surrounding my professional work.  In any case, thanks for your blog, it is a great reminder that many moms experience the same challenges.  And your writing is hilarious!

My style challenge is my V-Day date with the hubs.  Let me preface this by saying....I. NEVER. SEE. MY HUSBAND.  I have a high stress job in HR for a luxury hotel company, and my husband works 2 jobs at all hours of the night and day to make ends meet.  Literally all hours.  The only time I see my husband, I am wearing a suit (work requires), or pajamas.  Not my top choices, people.  And I am pretty sure not his.  Especially if you see my pajamas.  Since our V-Day date (observed on the 12th due to aforementioned insane work schedules) is a much anticipated special night, I would really like to wow him.  Here is where the problem comes in.  We have decided to go bowling, and then out to dinner.  Bowling you say?  Believe it or not my husband and I have never been bowling together, even in 3 years of dating and another 3.5 years of marriage.  He's foreign, I'm an awful bowler, he works nights & weekends, you do the math. 

 

Now HOW, pray tell, does one dress for the romantic ambiance of Valentine's Day, bowling, and dinner out at a semi-decent restaurant with tablecloths - all wrapped up into one?  Any cute outfit I can muster in my mind (usually involving skinny jeans and boots) only transitions to utterly ghastly once I picture myself in those damn bowling shoes!  I want something that will be comfortable enough to bowl in, while still remaining sexy and date-nite-esque which I can confidently wear at a restaurant we can't afford.  I also thought about a sweater-dress (for some reason my husband really likes these, he bought me three for xmas), but still the problem with the bowling shoes/curvy hips is even more exaggerated with no jeans to hide the shoes and balance the hips.  My last resort is a post-bowl wardrobe change.  Any last minute pointers or suggestions? 

Katie

Answer:

Katie, thanks so much for your kind words and for writing in!  So glad you and hubs will be celebrating Valentine's together.  And bowling + unaffordable restaurant?  Totally a night to remember, LOL!  

I myself have been on many a bowling date-night.  Denver has that LA transplant Lucky Strike which is a bowling alley/nightclub and it IS a fun date night.  Like you, I am also a terrible, terrible bowler, and irrationally competitive when bowling, which leads me to Tip #1:  Drink.

But what to wear?  There are two options that immediately come to mind:

 

 

Option 1 - Hide the Shoes with Flares

Flares will help to hide those horrible bowling shoes.  But bring a few safety pins (or duct tape) so you can pin/tape up your hem.  When bowling is over, release the hem, bust out the sexy shoes and be on your way!

 

DateNight by aintnomomjeans featuring plunging neckline tops

 

That's the safe option.  But my favorite.....

Shop Your Closet: A Styling Trick To Keep His Eyes on Your...Uh...Face?

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, I've been thinking about some sexy styling tips for moms.  You know - short skirts, high heels, the usual.  But when I asked Mike what he thought was sexy, he immediately replied, "You know that necklace you have...?"

Strange, right?  But I knew immediately which one he was talking about.  Because whenever I wear it, he really can't tear his eyes away.  It's not that my husband has some strange neck fetish, or that there is anything super-special about this particular necklace....the secret lies in its length.

This necklace is long - roughly 20", and provides a subtle little flash of bling...riiiight there.  Right where his eyes want to go anyway.

Mom Street Style - Maternity Chic That's Easy on the Eyes and the Budget!

Mamas, meet Melissa, one of the most adorable (thrice!) pregnant mamas I've ever seen (excuse the image quality, we just couldn't work out a better shot, but it would have been a travesty not to share Melissa's perfect, easy, affordable style).  She writes:

Hi ladies,
 
Honestly, I can't believe I'm submitting a picture of myself...but alas, here it is.  This was a super simple and inexpensive outfit...and after having 2 kiddos with my 3rd baby just 5 weeks away, I'm desperate to get through these last 5 weeks and still manage to look put together.  I wore this outfit this past weekend with my hubby for our monthly 'date night'.  I got a lot of compliments on it so I thought maybe another pregnant lady could use a pick me up!!
 
Poncho and boots- Tarjay (Target to some people :))
Jeggings- Old Navy maternity
Bag- Old Navy

 

I love your blog and I am so thankful I found it...keep on keepin on!!!

- Melissa

Melissa's rocking a number of ANMJ's favs for moms--skinny jeans, tall boots, and a belly/postpartum pooch/nursing-friendly poncho, topping it all off with understated, spot-on accessories.  I love how her copper/gold cuff bracelet ties into the zippers on her fab riding boots, and the tassel on her bag keys in on the fringe trend, lending a toned-down Boho vibe.

Seriously, Melissa, if you look that good pregnant, you should just keep on have babies.  Thanks for sharing your rad mama style!

- M.

Reader Question: What to Wear With Bespoke Olive Flats

Having been an English lit girl and lover of period piece cinema, I'll just confess now that I've oft dreamed of hand selecting a bespoke wardrobe (in it, I sit atop a tufted setee, surrounded by bolts of lustrous fabric <sigh. . . >) , so when ANMJ reader Valerie L. wrote in with the uncommon dilemma of styling her custom made olive green ballet flats (pictured at left), my ears perked right up.  She writes:

I'm an Air Force wife stationed in South Korea right now so I had a pair of shoes custom-made for me - olive green ballet flats.  I like them (olive green is one of my most favorite colors), but they didn't turn out ~exactly~ like I had in my mind. I'm at a loss.  What can I wear them with? I don't want to be too match-y match-y. I feel like it might be a delicate balance and with my luck, I'd go the wrong way.

Please help!  What would you recommend?

Mom Street Style - Vera's Fav Nursing Cover

When I finally worked up the nerve to nurse my first babe in public (instead of running to the car or planning every outing around feedings), I was daunted to say the least.  And when I faced breastfeeding my second with an on-the-go 19-month-old, the prospect of boob exposure during the regular course of lunging after my toddler terrified me, as does trying to run after a two- and four-year-old going in opposite directions whilst nursing my third bub, so I can absolutely relate to Vera, this week’s fab street style mama.  Vera just had her fourth and was thrilled with the range of motion, not to mention the style, of the DRIA nursing cover S. reviewed last year.

Vera writes:

I just want to say thank you!! I bought the Dria cover after reading your review of it and I LOVE it.  Actually, I am trying really hard not to wear it every single day.  I just had my fourth baby, and despite nursing all my kids until about 18 months, I never used nursing covers - I just thought they were awkward and actually drew MORE attention to the fact that you were breastfeeding.  I had good luck just wearing a cami and a shirt and pulling my shirt up and was pretty discrete about it.  BUT, the Dria is soooo soft and comfy and hides my huge post-c-section pooch, and actually I'm finding that I like being able to nurse in public with it.  Having a very active 21 month old boy, there have been a couple of times that I've been at Starbucks or some place nursing the baby and he decides to do something crazy and I need to react quickly - not something I can do while having my boob hanging out!

Thanks! I'm attaching a pic of the one I got - I love it, even though my hubby is giving me weird looks every morning when I pull it out after trying on fifty other things first LOL!

- Vera C.

For those of you mamas not familiar with the DRIA nursing cover, check it out.  It is the most versatile and fashion-forward piece of nursing gear I have ever encountered, and I don’t think I’ll be shelving it even after I’m done nursing bub #3.  In any of the patterns, it’s a gorgeous, lightweight poncho that’ll kick up the volume on even the most boring outfit.  It covers everything, including you, your babe, the car seat or your stroller, it wads up into a tiny ball, washes well and dries fast and without wrinkles.

Vera, you look amazing in your slouchy boots and nursing poncho! Thanks for sending in your Street Style submission—keep ‘em comin’, Mamas!

- M.

No She Didn't!! Leather Pants (...aaaand an alternative for the rest of us)

Mamas:  Have you ever tried leather pants?  I have - years ago (long before Raines came around).  It didn't end well.  The knees stretched out, I couldn't bend (Somebody help!  I dropped a pencil!), and I found my thighs either sweaty (which previously had only happened in Bikram Yoga class) or freezing.  I also walked funny - ramrod straight and uncomfortable.  The soundtrack to my leather-pant-walking would've sounded something like  ernh-ee-ernh-ee-ernh-ee.  I'm sure some girls can carry them off with aplomb....but these are probably also the girls who look cool smoking.  Me?  Not only am I leather-pant-challenged, but I'm afraid of the fire at the lit end of the cig.  Sigh.  Hopeless, I know.

But I LOVE the look (of both leather pants and smoking - yeah, yeah, bad for you, yeah).  But I LOVE it.  Such an awesome rocker/cool-french-girl kind of look.  And while I'm totally over the smoking thing, I'm still craving leather pants. Luckily, faux leather options are everywhere.  From J Brand's waxed skinny jeans (cute, but not that comfy) to faux-leather leggings that do, surprise!!, feel a lot like leggings. 

BTW?  I ran across a pic of one the French Vogue editors rocking her leather leggings at 6 months pregnant. 

(photo credit: Jak and Jill)

Mamas, that's some serious dedication to leather leggings.  Yay, Geraldine.

Encouraged by Geraldine's pic...I bought some faux-leather leggings.  Just, you know, to see.  Strictly for research, Mamas.  We do serious research here at Ain't No Mom Jeans.  But my expectations were very low, so I bought the cheapest pair I could find.  Then rounded up a couple of pics for leather-legging mom-drobe inspiration (which sounds like an oxymoron, I know, but indulge me for a sec).  Anyway, here's my inspiration board for mom-friendly leather leggings:

A Tiny Capsule Wardrobe For Post-Partum, Nursing Moms Going Back To Work

Mamas, I received an email from reader Vera.  She was thrilled with our advice during her maternity leave, writing, "I bought a pair of skinny jeans, some leggings, and then shirt dresses/dolman sleeve sweaters, the Dria cover, some awesome slimming nursing tanks and that pumpkin peel...and actually felt NICE immediately after having baby #4.  THAT is awesome - thank you!"

But now she's back at work.

Vera says:

My belly is out of control and I need help figuring out what to wear.  I actually lay awake at night and dread the next morning, mostly because I can't think of what to wear.  I have some suits to wear for meetings 2-3 times a month, but the rest of the time my office is business casual.  I want to be comfortable.  I'm pumping, so I need either tops I can take off or dresses that are nursing/pumping friendly.  I am working REALLY hard on losing the baby weight, and I don't want to spend a ton of money on clothes that fit me now.  I am probably a size 10 on the bottom (my legs are actually smaller than that but my belly...) and a 12/Large on top thanks to the porn star boobs (filled with milk) right now.  Even though I sit most of the day, I want things that are comfy and easy to move in.  So, can you help me find

*Work appropriate

*Cheap

*Comfortable

*Pooch-hiding, porn-star-boob-accommodating

*Nursing/pumping friendly?

 

Vera, there are two ways to approach this problem:

1. Buy a ton of cheap stuff

2. Select, very carefully, a few quality items that look amazing and that you can wear over & over & over again.

My issue with buying lots of cheap stuff is that you often sacrifice fit.  And when your body is going through so many crazy changes....you'll look and feel better in well-fitting clothes. 

However.  By choosing carefully, it's possible that you can invest in a few items that will still work once the weight comes off...AND make the most of what you already own.  

But I do recommend buying pants that fit.  That alone will do wonders for your morning closet conundrum.

So.  Here are five items that every new working-and-pumping mom should consider adding to her closet (and they all work together, too!):

Shop Your Closet: Wear Your Guy's Tie

A huge trend lately has been menswear on women.  Not just trouser pants and button-down shirts, but serious menswear - think three-piece suits, oxford shoes, fedoras.  It's surprisingly sexy on women.  So when I came across this shot, I fell in love:

(photo credit:  Justin Chung for GQ's Like The Boys with Georgia Fowler)

But...the bow-tie.  Mike is totally NOT a bow-tie kinda guy.  And I have doubts that a bow-tie simply draped over my shoulders would last long with the two little nutcases I run around with everyday.  But the vibe is great.  Really relaxed and sexy.  So then I thought...why not a actual tie?

So I stole one of Mike's.  And I kinda love it.

Festive Holiday Styling for Lazy Mamas: Four Day-to-Night Outfit Ideas

Cookie swaps, champagne brunches, dinner parties, gift exchanges, kid's pageants and a myriad of other festive occasions.  Sound familiar?  The kind of occasions where you want to look festive and fun...but a cocktail dress would be overkill.  And your definition of "festive" doesn't include this:

 

Although, to be honest, I would totally rock this one with teeny, tiny tuxedo shorts and lace tights:

 

In an ironic way?  Funny, right?  HA HA...ha?

Ok.

My point: There are a few styling tricks that I turn to all Holiday season long when I want to look "festive".  Really, I should've named this post, "Captain Obvious' Tips For Festivus Style"...cause there is nothing earth-shattering here.  But if you are busy (yes), tired (oh, yes) and prone to faking illness *cough* instead of venturing outside when the temperature dips (hi have we met?), then here are a few ideas for getting your holiday grove on.

Nursing-Friendly Holiday Dresses

We've had several requests for nursing-friendly holiday dresses.  Which, as many of you know, is easier said then done.  Most festive holiday fabrics (silk, lace, anything shiny) have very little give and therefore are tough to nurse in - even if the neckline is low.  The best nursing-friendly dresses have a stretchy neckline - something with jersey, perhaps, so they easily pull down to nurse.  However, these dresses can often look too casual.  Finding something dressy (or that can be dressed up) and nursing-friendly is key.

(City of Lights dress, $178 and Miramar Dress, $368 both from Anthropologie)

Another pitfall?  The wrap dress.  These often appear nursing friendly, but in reality, many require partial unwrapping for full nursing access to 'the girls'.  Um.  Awkward.

Lastly....bras.  As in, we need them.  Milk is heavy.

So.  If you are in the market for a nursing-friendly holiday dress, keep the following in mind:

1.  Find dresses in stretchy fabrics.

2.  If you want a wrap dress, be sure that it's drapey enough to allow nursing access without having to re-tie.

3.  Be sure you can wear a bra (BTW - a strapless bra is very easy to nurse in...but be sure you have one that fits properly).

Here are some of my favorites for a bit of inspiration.....