Ain't No Mom Jeans

Reader Q | How to Style a Lace Top For Work

Reader Question:

First, let me say that I love your blog! I read it religiously. So much so that my husband no longer asks where I get new ideas from. Thank you for helping me feel kid-friendly, mom appropriate and sexy all at the same time.

Here's my question...I'm looking for some ideas for work appropriate layering of a lace shirt. I am an attorney and need office appropriate wear, but get bored with the same old dark suit getup.
If I can at least make the tops under the jacket interesting, I feel like I win. On non-court days, I have a little more freedom in what is appropriate. I'm 100% on board with the layering a turtleneck.  I tried a t-shirt today.

(wearing:  GORGEOUS lace tee is Lauren Conrad for Kohl's)  

Is there anything else? Would a button down work?

-Suzanne

Answer:

Suzanne - Thanks for writing in!  You obviously read the article (linked above) where I recommended a lace top.  If you recall, I claimed that it was oh-so-easy to style and soooo very versatile and...well.  I see that you are calling me out.  (Nicely, of course.)  Challenge accepted!!  It's time to put my styling where my big ol' mouth is, and attempt to style one up for the office.  Not just any office....but one of the most conservative of work environments. 

(I came up with six possibilities.)

A Maternity Workwear Capsule Wardrobe For Spring (and an ASOS Giveaway)

Maternity workwear.  Isn't that phrase just so...depressing?  Ugh.  It conjures up images of schlumpy, black, ill-fitting suits and those awful maternity button-down shirts.  (shudder)

We can do better, Mamas.  

I threw together a small Spring capsule wardrobe for working mamas-to-be.  And it's almost completely post-partum friendly, and much of it is pumping-friendly.  But best of all?  Maternity workwear (blaaaah) has come such a long way that not only would I happily(!!) wear any of these pieces NOT pregnant, but most are pretty. darn. affordable. 

 

Currently Loving: Dark, Straight-Leg Denim (WHA???)

Mamas, I have some new favorite pants.

 

Yup.  They're a clean, dark wash.  And nope:  they're not coated or patterned, embellished or embroidered.  They are just....plain 'ol denim.  And not skinny!  (Shocking, I know.)  They have a straight leg and a mid-rise.  They practically scream WE ARE NOT EXCITING!

And I realize that dark, clean denim seems like an odd choice, given that brights and patterns are now an everyday basic.  But I think the simplicity is exactly why I was drawn to this pair.  With all of the colors and patterns out there, these almost feel...fresh?

 

Pair These Seven Pieces With Boring Basics To Nail That Pesky "Dressy-Casual" Look

Mamas, this article was inspired by a question I received from Martha.  She wrote:

I recently discovered your blog and I am loving the inspiration to step up my mom style a bit, and ideas for putting more personality into my basics. I'm realizing, though, that I have a weird gap in my wardrobe. I have plenty of casual mom clothes (jeans, basic tees and sweaters, comfy shoes). My work wardrobe for a casual but conservative engineering office is jeans, cords, or cotton pants, "boring sweaters", and flats or conservative boots. And I love the rare opportunity to rock a cute dress and strappy heels. But for some strange reason, even before I had kids, I've struggled with what to wear for a dressy-casual night out, like to a restaurant or parties with other "grown ups". 

It's true!  Dressing way up is easy: dress, shoes, clutch, done.  Wearing yoga pants is easy.  But nailing the dressy-casual vibe in an effortless way is tough.  It's easy to go overboard and end up with something that feels too fussy, too "done".  Or, on the other side (like at a business casual office) you end up wearing all solid-color basics.  Snore.  

In the past, I've done both.  Neither is fun, neither feel like "me".  But there are a few pieces that I find myself reaching for time-and-time again, whenever I'm in the dressy-casual zone, be it work or Play* related.  Keep reading to see both the list, and how I'm mixing up my own pieces.

(Play = Big Girl playtime and involves cocktails, play = kiddo play and involves dirt)

 

Stylemint Nicholls Blazer | Mango Lace Tee | Ann Taylor Floral Blouse | M Missoni Skirt | Topshop Check Trousers | Steve Madden Instantt Ankle Booties | Calvin Klein Pumps

 

 

Keep reading for a full explanation of the list, as well as some example pics of how I've been mixing pieces like these...

It's Official: Moms Are Cool (And The So-Called "Mommy Wars"? Please Tell Me They're OVER)

Mamas, have you seen Free People's latest catalog?  It's overflowing with gorgeous.  The theme is Girls on Bikes, and one of the shots is of this lovely lady:  a cool mom with a backpack full of flowers and a bald little bub on the front.  

Last May J. Crew featured Arizona Muse and her son Nikko in their May catalog, and now we have Free People giving moms a little love.  Not to mention the incredible styling of the folks at Hatch, and the fact that there are enough inspirational mom fashion bloggers to spend all of your hours online....it seems, dear Mamas, that being a mom is, well...kinda cool these days. 

Not that it really matters, necessarily.  I think the title of "cool mom" applies to any mom who simply does her best and loves the shit outta her kids.  But doesn't it feel good that this anti-mom culture we live in (the one that brought us both mom jeans and mommy wars) is starting to recognize that we are, in fact, awesome?

When I was first pregnant with Raines (over 5 years ago now), I was scared to death of becoming a mom.   I wasn't scared by the act of mothering, which, when you think about it, should be daunting:  no sleep, poop filled diapers, tantrums and oh I don't know the fact that a tiny human being is totally and completely dependent on you.  Instead, I was terrified that I was going to turn into one of "those moms", the sexless mom who spends her time in mom jeans and bad shoes, being overly competitive with her friends and ranting on internet forums.  I know you know her, at least in theory.  She's our symbol of modern motherhood.

But here's the funny thing:  I've never actually met her.

In Denver, after Raines was born, I started a mom's group with one of my friends.  It grew pretty large, and we had the opportunity to meet a ton of moms.  There were stay-at-home moms, moms who worked part-time, full-time, and moms who worked insane amounts of hours and only showed up to the occasional girl's night out.  I found many moms who shared my parenting style, and other moms who thought I was nuts (and sometimes the feeling was mutual).  But here's the thing:  none of these moms were judgemental.  If I had a dollar every time I heard someone say, "It's so hard...everyone is so different!"  Most of the angst aired was directed inward:  we were all so much harder, it seemed, on ourselves.

I'll acknowledge that this is only one tiny data point.  And I've also had moms give me dirty looks, make snide remarks, and shock me by their judgemental responses in internet forums.  But in most cases, those instances were usually due to one of the following:

1.  I was being overly-sensitive and misconstrued an otherwise innocent comment (or look).

2.  A good mom was having a bad day (and probably misconstrued something I said or did).

3. They are assholes.

But here's the thing:  the mean/snide/judgemental comments weren't always coming from MOMS, these comments were coming from ASSHOLES who happen to be moms.

That's a big difference.  Why do we, as moms, have to sustain the damage caused by the "mommy war" label, when the simple truth is that assholes are everywhere?  In all walks of life?  It's not motherhood that makes people hateful.  It's hate that makes people hateful.  (Haters gotta hate amiright?)

Motherhood has been, in every way, trying.  I suffered through two years without sleep after Raines was born, and did it all over again with Pax.  I spent many nights in tears - either because nursing wasn't working, or feeding wasn't working, or sleeping wasn't working, or time-outs weren't working or positive discipline wasn't working, or I because knew that I had been at my worst that day.  I searched to find new outlets for my sense of self: one where my self-esteem wasn't directly tied to the height of my heels or the flatness of my stomach.  I have been forced, through the mirror that is our children, to confront, head-on, the worst parts of my personality.  On a daily basis.  Sometimes minute-by-minute.  Motherhood is humbling to say the least.    

But here's the thing about being humbled:  You learn so much from it.  And there is no doubt that I am a much better person because I am a mother.  With each kid, I feel like I've gotten wiser, and have come closer to finding my center.  (Not that I don't have a Dynasty-worthy rager now and again, or that my husband has never come home to find me sobbing, "I'm so alooooone" on the bathroom floor.  That's life, right?)

But having kids, in general, makes us better people.  Whenever I meet a mother of four (or more!!) I'm often left in awe of her genius.  These mamas have reached an enlightened buddha state that I can only dream of.  

So whether or not you throw on your designer sunglasses, and pedal your gorgeously dressed baby around some cobble-stoned street...if you are a mom, trying your best, learning all that you can, and loving your kids to pieces....I'll bet that you are also pretty. darn. cool.  And if our culture is finally waking up to the fact that moms rock?  Bring it, baby.  Cause we can all use a little dose of mom-friendly inspiration now and again.

(That Free People sweater-jacket looks perfect for throwing over a spit-up stained tee, doesn't it?  More like this, Free People.  MORE LIKE THIS.)

xo,

S

 

TMRDNL: A High-End Designer For Moms? (And At Crazy-Affordable Prices)

Ok Mamas - it's my last shopping enabling post of the year.  But I must warn you:  This one will be especially hard to resist. 

Have you heard of TMRDNL?  It's the line designed by Tamar Daniel, an Israeli- British-American fashion designer who happens to live not far from me.  I had the opportunity to meet with her and see her line...and oh, my.  We're talking ah-mazing stuff.  Like...machine washable, scrunch down into a suitcase and still look amazing stuff. 

 

Tamar's design philosophy is one that us Mamas will relate to.  A mom herself, Tamar describes her collection as a "call to arms for dynamic real women, whose days are full of many facets, and whose outfits need to transition from boardroom to playgroup to date night and back again as seamlessly as they do. A versatile mix of easy, thoughtful pieces, the collection is truly a wardrobe for living."

Sing it, Sister.

 

But here's the bad news:  Tamar is moving on.  It turns out that designing an entire line is a ton of work (no kidding). And Tamar has something new and exciting in mind.  Personally, I'm heartbroken.  With gorgeousness like this...

...TMRDNL will be missed.   

But here's the silver lining, Mamas.  Tamar still has a few pieces in stock.  And they are taking up precious room in her storeroom.  You know where I'm going with this, right?  She'd like some help cleaning things away for the new year.  So pieces that typically retail for...oh...let's just say that they typically retail for prices that I cannot afford...are currently available in the $25 - $125 range.

Seriously.

Even better, Tamar is generously offering Ain't No Mom Jeans readers an additional 20% off with the code ANMJ.

Now...what to buy?

Well.  My most-worn piece to-date is the Intrigue Jacket, pictured above. It's machine-washable, nursing-friendly, and insanely comfortable.  The sleeves are made of a soft knit, so you have full range of motion for picking up the little ones - it feels like a comfy sweater.  Mine is a size larger than I typically go for, so it can be easily layered (even over another sweater, like above).  But when I wear it alone, the drapiness is such that it never looks too big!  This piece is seriously amazing.  It is currently retailing on Tamar's website for $99, and also comes in a longer (trench) version for $125.  The trench makes a gorgeous dress, especially for work.  (Easy to pump in, I'll bet.)  

Ready to see more? Ok...

Holiday Style: Glam Up Your Momiform (AKA Your Daily Mom Uniform)

Mamas, this is so similar to Sex Up A Day Dress.  Basically, just grab a bunch of glitzy-glam accessories, and pile 'em on!  Add high heels and a clutch, of course.  

The thing about this styling tip that I really, really like is this:  It forces you out of an accessory rut.

Since I really found my own personal style during the minimalist 90's...I tend to be accessory adverse.  If I adorn, it's usually with one statement piece.  Add a belt too?  Crazytown.  I tend to live by that old advice, "look in the mirror and remove one accessory".  It's Coco Chanel, for crying out loud.  How can that be bad?

  The thing is...whenever you start any fashion rule with "always"...you're eventually going to get yourself in trouble.  At some point, somewhere, your own rule will hold you back.  At best, it'll hold you back from experimentation, at worst...15 years later you'll realize that no one else wears hair scrunchies anymore.  Know what I mean?

So experiment.  Especially during the holiday season.  The holidays are filled with so much stuff:  lights, tinsel, glitter, shiny objects, bows, ribbons, BAM BAM POW....you really can't overdo it.  You'll just look...festive.  

So here's how I used a little BAM BAM POW to transform my typical daily momiform into something ready to party...

(wearing Playground:J.Crew Perfect Shirt in Black Watch $68, Levi's 535 skinnies on sale for $35, old boots but found similar on sale for $119)

(wearing Party: shirt above, Stylemint Lola black skinnies $60, Aerosoles Tapestry Pumps in red suede on sale for $49, vintage bag - similar at Target $15, headband is ancient but am loving this one for $38, old Chan Luu necklace but think this would be MUCH better)

A few notes:

• See my statement necklace?  It's hard to see, isn't it?  Like I mentioned the other day, I really need a new one.  The ideal situation is when there's enough contrast between your shirt and your necklace to really make the jewels pop. Dark-on-dark lacks oomph.  
• I love how clean a button-down + necklace looks when buttoned all the way up to the top.  HOWEVER...it's important to show some skin.  So roll up the sleeves.
• Because this outfit is so casual, you can get away with a fancy updo, and still not look stuffy.  (If that's your thing.  I am hair-styling challenged, so I wore mine down.)  It would be fun to see a fancy french twist with a sparkly comb sticking out.  

 

I also asked Cam how she'd take her daily momiform out on the town.  She came back with "how about a graphic tee?"

Yesssssss.  

 (wearing Day: A+ro sweater or similar on sale, Forever 21 tee or similar $15, Jbrand jeggings $118, Steve Madden Troopa boots $99, Timi & Leslie Diaper Bag $155)

(wearing Night:  Forever 21 tee or similar $15, Jbrand jeggings$118, Forever 21 blazer - S loves this one, Express clutch or similar $25, earrings DIY, bracelets Old Navy, Target wedges $30) 

 

There's lots to love about Cam's outfit...here's what jumps out:

• A blazer adds instant sophistication.  Even with a graphic tee, she looks ready to go Out (with a capitol "O").
• Because she's so covered up, I love that she shows a little wrist and ankle.  In fact, her skinnies are so perfectly hemmed (sheistall*cough*amodel*cough)...that I want to run right out to the tailor.
• Again, check out the glitz:  big-girl earrings, shiny bag, glam cuff
• See her shoes? They are colorful, without "matching".  The lesson?  Don't over-think it. 

 

And MAN...that girl can rock a sexy look.  I need to take notes.  After Wednesday's sex-kitten-gone-wrong pose, I attempted to redeem myself.  "Mike, does this look sexy?" I asked:

"Sure, Babe" he responds, shrugging his shoulders.  And then seeing the look on my face he quickly corrects, "I mean YEAH!  Sexy!  Yeah!"

Sigh.  Clearly, I need to practice Cam's glare.  So. Awesome.

xo,

S

Mom Street Style: Mary Makes Workwear "Work" At Home

Mamas, reader Mary sent us the following adorable pictures:

She wrote:  

Hello! My name is Mary, and I am the mother of three - 8 months, 2 years, and an almost 4 year old. I found your blog a few weeks ago via Camp Patton, and I have really enjoyed cruising around it since. I happened upon your Mom Street Style feature and thought, what the heck, I will save Molly from having to approach a random stranger : ) My oldest took these pics (and another million, in an attempt to get one or two that wasn't blurry) - I'm wearing Target super skinny black jeans, New York and Co white button down, 5 /48 charcoal grey boyfriend blazer (or similar), black embellished Franco Sarto flats (they have a tiny wedge - similar here)  and Citizen Eco Drive watch. Super comfy, nursing friendly, yet polished for running errands or what have you. 

Nice work, Mary!!  You've put old work basics to good use running around with the kiddos.  And is it just me, or are black jeans having a moment?  I've been LOVING mine...and they suddenly seem to be popping up everywhere. Amazing that they can look so sleek...yet still give off a rocker vibe. Here, Mary uses them to balance the preppy blazer & white shirt combo.  And the popped collars are so chic.  Nice. 

Mary, BTW, is a blogger herself.  She writes the blog, With My Sisters, as a way of keeping in touch.  "My sisters and I are close but geographically distant. I hope to use this space to share what I would if I were with my sisters - books, movies, fashion, makeup, recipes, random facts, life and love advice - you know, girl talk."  

Having a sister, I do know.  What fun.  And I love her seven quick style tips.

Also, in a totally unrelated note, I received an email a while back from a reader asking how to wear black/brown together.  Which I love.  But I'm betting other mamas out there are also rocking the black/brown.  Anyone want to add their two cents?  Send me a pic (and I'll give credit of course) and we'll see if we can pull together a whopper of a black/brown inspiration board.  

Mary, you fabulous Mama, thank you so much for writing in!!

xo,

S

Reader Q | How To Style A Navy & White Striped Knit Blazer?

Reader Q:

Hello!

I am 9 month postpartum with twins and your site has really helped me get styling ideas for my new lifestyle and new body (read - huge boobs and poochy belly).  I recently picked up this knit blazer at Land's End to help me look polished but be able to move freely to keep up with my now mobile twins...

...but everything I try it on with looks boring and predictable (like the model's outfit).  Do you have any ideas for mixing interesting colors or patterns or silhouettes with this blazer? 

Thanks for all your help!

- A

Answer:

Yeah...these blazers are surprisingly tough.  When they first popped onto the scene I was excited:  stripes AND a soft, sweat-shirty knit in a blazer?  Yessss!  But then...these blazers often look so darn preppy and, as you mentioned, predictable.  

The key, I think, is to pair these with slightly subversive pieces.  Which sounds scarier than it looks.  Here's three ways I'd style these babies up:

*Note:  In the collages, I'm using this Juicy Coture Blazer instead, simply because the pic was cleaner.  But the LE knit blazer will work nicely here too.

Reader Q | What An Engineer Wears To Work in the Summer

Mamas, I recieved this email from reader Tracy:

Here's my challenge.  I'm an aerospace systems engineer (yes, you MAY call me Madame Rocket Scientist) in Pasadena, CA and I have no idea what to wear to work when the weather gets hot.  Oh, did I mention California?  Yes, it will be 80-105 degrees here from now until November.  That's half a year by my Excel spreadsheet calculations.  My workplace is actually pretty casual, but the managers certainly dress nicer, and I've always heard you should dress like who you aspire to be at work.  So, what to wear when skin is in season at the beach/park, but no so for those of us sweltering in their desk chair? Cut-offs, short skirts, flip flops, maxi dresses (any that scream "I'd rather be on a tropical island than here in this meeting with all of you!), bare arms, etc. are really not options.  And, I am of course up to my elbows in mommy-mode (and other disgustingness) immediately before and after work so everything has to be kiddo friendly. 

 

Tracy, I have a soft spot in my heart for geeks.  Geeks who mention aerospace, spreadsheets and fashion?  We should be BFFs.

As you know, engineering is a funny field from a dress-code perspective.  It's not as conservative, as, say, some crusty old law firm, but neither is it consider creative, like marketing or a hip ad agency.  And while my company flirted with a denim dress code in the heady dot-com days, the pendulum seems to be swinging back to fairly conservative roots. 

Personally, I tend to favor a professional look, with touches of casual ease thrown in (especially in the summer).  Here's a weeks worth of outfits:

MONDAY:  Cheap, Modest, Summer Dresses

(wearing:  Target dress, J. Crew belt, Marc Jacobs heels)

A few of my favorite places to find cotton summer dresses include Target, Shabby Apple, Modcloth, and  Forever 21.  Look for classic cuts with a bit of a sleeve in dark, conservative colors.  I keep them professional with belts and closed-toe heels, and add cardigans (or blazers) to battle the air conditioning.  The second I leave work I strip off the outer layer, and just run around in what is really just a cheap little cotton summer dress.  Sometimes I'll even change into flip-flops.  

NOTE:  When buying cheap, you sometimes sacrifice fit.  The Target dress above cost me $24, plus another $40 in alterations.  Considering how many times I've worn what became a $64 dress, the CPW (cost-per-wear) is still in the pennies.