Ain't No Mom Jeans

TGI Summer!

I love summer for so many reasons.  Sunshine.  Pool time.  Free time (theoretically).  Crazy sales. 

I say theoretically because we’re putting our house on the market and getting it ready with three babes ages four-and-under in tow has been. . . fun?  Interesting?  We couldn’t have done any of it without help from Mimi, so I must shout out a big thanks to her.  She’s more than a mom.  She’s a friend, too, and an amazing one at that.

We’re also packing up our brood for a 10-day holiday (Fun?  Definitely interesting.), S. is off on a road trip (thank goodness they’re taking a break from flying) to NYC, then Michigan (after “camping” with more mosquitoes than wild ponies > she emailed me from a hotel after, get this: Day. One.  I kid you not!  LMAO), and in the midst of all that, we’re trying not to short shift ANMJ readers, and we’re doing galleries for Mom.me—here are our one-piece swim suit picks, and stay tuned for our celeb mom backyard BBQ style gallery.  See?  Fun.  And interesting.

Predictably, I can talk about crazy sales at even greater length than major life events:

I think I may have found the holy grail of kids' water shoes, Mamas.  I’ve always sprung for the $50+ Keens in summers past—they have great arch support, are incredibly durable and I once heard a story about a kid who was wearing them when he got his foot stuck in the teeth of an escalator and came out with all ten toes in tact, but mamas, do they stink or what?  Like, in a way that won’t wash off the foot, not even with several rounds of hot soapy water . . . So I’ve been on the hunt, and I thought, at $15, Old Navy’s Trek Shoes are worth a shot, right?  After two weeks of non-stop wear, by both my walking boys, there is no insane foot stink, and they’ve been in and out of rivers, pools and splash parks almost non-stop.  They probably wont last through next year, so they’re definitely not as durable as pricier options, but now, mamas?  They’re 10 flippin’ bucks!  Done and done.

The blue is mostly sold out, but the other colors are great, too.  Check them out here, and if you have a little chick who’s a size 7, be sure to click through to their adorable pink version.

Oh, and take a look at Boden’s crazy-cute swimwear for kiddos if you’re spending more time (like us) in the water than you thought.  It’s all 25% off, but do be aware shipping takes a bit—about a week-and-a-half, so if you need extra stuff now, skip it.

Birthdays are always a bit difficult to swallow—mine’s next month <gulp>.  Um, where’s the time going?  And why do I now totally get what my great-grandmother told me the last time I saw her, shortly before she passed away?  “I still feel eighteen, then I look in the mirror. . .”  So.  I like to pick up a little treat for myself during the crazy summer sales.  I’ve been coveting the Frye Corby ankle boots since S. wrote them up in January, and now they are on crazy sale in limited sizes.  They’re reduced to $198 from $298 on the page, and Garnet Hill is taking an additional 30% off + free shipping once in the cart through July 2^nd.  Yaaay!  See?  I’m totally distracted from the march of time.  I feel better.  A little retail therapy can a good thing.  Sometimes.

Oh, and these stylin’ Gap sunnnies for the baby man?  $5?  Um, yeah.  Or how about the Glam sunglasses for the little ladies?

Is this the holiday weekend, or is next week the weekend?  Or is it both?  Such is the beauty of summer, Mamas.  Who knows, but we’ll check in again soon!

- M.

 

 

 

 

Reader Question | Swimwear for Thin, Large Busted Mamas

Reader Question:

Hi ANMJ, 

I've been desperately searching for some swimwear for the fast approaching summer season.  I have three little girls (ages 4.5, 3 and 8 months) and since they will be decked out in the cutest matching swimwear available this year, I feel like I need to be able to keep up with them too.  I have finally lost all of the baby weight (and then some), yet my body just isn't the same after 3 c-sections.  I'm looking for a fun/trendy tankini, if that even exists.  On top of all that, I'm still nursing.  Are there even nursing-friendly bathing suits out there?  If it helps, or is of any consideration, I'm 5'5" and about 121 lbs, but the real zinger is that I'm a 32DDD on the top.  Being so top heavy and still nursing has made finding suitable swimwear a nightmare. 

Thank you in advance for any help you can offer!  I love your website and read it almost religiously.

- Alison

p.s. if it's of any consideration, the only thing I've been able to find online is this splendid tankini which I've ordered but wish I could find more options since I'm afraid I may not squeeze into the top! 

Answer:

Oh, what these babies do to us!  Alison, I feel for you, really feel for you, because I'm five months out from my third c-section (no, even when you do lose the weight, it's just not the same, is it?), I'm nursing, and I've been there, squeezing the girls into too-small suit tops, combing the internet for separates since the top and the bottom don't match and generally dreading (while dying for) pool time. 

I've reconciled myself to just owning my slightly (snort!) looser tummy and keep wearing bikinis.  Ironically, they're a great option for a nursing, postpartum mama whose boobs are off the charts because you don't have to worry about tankini/bandini fabric being too loose around the middle, or falling out of a one-piece that fits on top but is roomy on the bottom, or (worse?) vice-versa.  Talk to me again when I've been asked for the umpteenth billion time when I'm due.  Or, since we'll be swimming at the gym's pool this summer, whether I need a trainer. . .

Now, while I do love the Splendid bandini you ordered, and I do think it will be nursing-friendly, I have to say that, given your measurements, and looking at the woman who is modeling it, I believe there's a chance it might not work out.  I hope I'm wrong, because it's flippin' adorable, but unless the triple "D" part of the 32DDD portion of your email was a type-o, I'm thinking the girls may need more support than this suit seems to be offering. 

This leaves you two options, the first of which is a little crazy, but I'm not sure why I've never heard of it until, both on our second pregnancies at the time (why don't maternity suits have any support!?), a friend and I invented the swim bra.  Here's what you do: layer a strapless or halter bikini top (depending on the cut) under your suit of choice, and voila, you have a swim bra.  Warning: this doesn't always work out.  I have not personally tried the combination I am showing here, and it's definitely not a science, just a suggestion if you find that you are in love with this suit and cannot let it go, but want a little more support.

 

Swim Bra! by dynamama featuring bandeau bikinis

Splendid
$67 - splendid.com

 

Mix Match bandeau bikini
$14 - target.com

 

 

Little Girls Swimwear (As Chosen by a Boy-Mom)

I see this scenario play out a lot at the pool playground: the adult swim whistle blows.  A collective cry of "awwww!" goes up from the kids as moms breathe a sigh of relief that they'll finally be able to get the babes out of the water to go home for nap, eat lunch or take a bathroom break.  The remaining kids erupt onto the pool playground, where mayhem ensues, with little damp-dry people running, climbing and sliding to great delight. 

Then I hear a weird screeching, which is invariably the sound of some swimsuit-clad little girl's bottom ripping down a hot slide.  It probably feels something like your first bikini wax, and this is one of the many, many moments--though I obviously would have cherished a daughter (who wouldn't!?)--that I count myself lucky to have boys (three!).

'Cause No One Wants To Swim With Your Kid's Poop (even if your kid is really, really cute)

Getting out of the house with a baby and a three-year-old is a total gong show.  Getting out of the house armed to the teeth with suits, sunscreen, floats, buckets, sun hats, umbrellas and towels?

Madness.

But I love the pool.  And R loves the pool.  And Pax loves the pool.  We are water babies, all of us.  So it drives me INSANE when we arrive at the pool, all ready to go....and it's closed.  Because someone pooped in the pool.

Please don't do the doo-doo.  Not in the pool.  Not after it took me 47 deep cleansing breaths and 4 trips to the car and 2 bathroom breaks and 3 diaper changes and a few meltdowns to get there. 

I know no one wants to be that parent, the one who let their kid poop in the pool.  But c'mon.  If you are using disposable swim diapers...you're tempting fate. 

I swear by iPlay's swim diapers.  They are a pain to get on (especially over Mr. Thunder Thigh's thunder thighs) but they work.  Even a serious poop-plosion isn't a match for these swim diapers.  (As long as they fit properly.  Do pay attention to the weight range.  It matters. Here's a copy of iPlay's swim diaper size chart.)

Go Buy Now: White, Long-Sleeve Rash Guards (And Tips On Cleaning Them)

"Go Buy Now" is our section dedicated to the stuff that sells out before you even know you critically need it.  As soon as we find out one such crucial item is available, we'll give you a heads up, regardless of the fact that the timing of the content seems absurd.

If we're gonna stick our kids in long-sleeves, on the beach, in 80+ temps...we can do them this small favor and choose a light color.  I'm not sure if you've ever worn a rash guard yourself...but the dark ones get hot. 

And I prefer long-sleeved rash guards simply to reduce the time I spend wrestling sunscreen onto a screaming/running toddler.  (Who is surprisingly fast). 

Lastly, because I'm picky, I prefer plain rash guards.  No puppies, trucks, slogans or brands splashed across the front.  And while I don't mind an occasional surfer dude, it's getting old.

So yeah - the pinnacle of rash guards for toddlers is the plain, white, long-sleeved version.  While the white rash guards are almost exclusively sold for boys (apparently girls don't get hot or sunburned?), I think these white rash guards would be adorable over a little girl bikini or swimsuit.  Nothing wrong with a cute little surfer girl...especially one who's not screaming from sunburn.