Ain't No Mom Jeans

Wearing All Black in the Spring

 

Beth emailed a while back, wondering about all-black outfits.  She wrote:

I love to wear black. I know that may not be the "in" thing to do- but it works for me. Black, a rich midnight blue, dove or heather gray- those are colors I work well with. The problem is that those then look so drab for spring. Any thoughts?

Yup.  See, I'm with you, Beth.  While color is huge right now, I tend to be a more minimalist, neutral kind of gal at heart. From growing up in the 90's, perhaps?  Which also explains my oversized white t-shirt obsession.  But black is pretty fabulous - there's no reason you can't rock all black all year.

How We Wear It: The Basic V-Neck Sweater

Mamas!!  We're starting a new monthly series called How We Wear It, where *we* show all of the different ways we're rocking a wardrobe basic.  And by "we" I mean...all y'all.   If there was One. Thing. you readers communicated LOUD AND CLEAR via our survey, it's this:  You want to see a wider range of body types represented here on ANMJ.  

So.  I'll show you how I've been styling my old standbys, and so will Cam.  And then, dear readers, we want to hear from YOU.  You can play along via our Linky party at the bottom (you can sign up at the bottom of this article or on Cam's page), you can send us a email (send it to either Cam or I), upload a pic to ANMJ's Facebook page, or use Instagram with the hashtag: #howwewearit.  As reader pics come in, I'll be keeping this page up-to-date.

Ready?  

Reader Q | How To Style A Camo Vest

Reader Question:

 

Hi Shana and Molly,

 

I discovered your blog a month or so ago and have worked my way through most of your archives. I've recently lost about 50 pounds (after having two children) and am starting to become more interested in making myself look nice.

 

Anyway, I may or may not have bought this camouflage vest from Target recently. 

 

I don't know what I was thinking. I had Shana's camo pants in my head and was thinking of the military trend and... it just happened. Now the question is what do I do with it? Return it? Wear it over a neutral tee? Under a jean jacket? Both?

 

Thank you so much for writing such insightful, entertaining posts. I will be more careful when considering trendy pieces next time!

 

 - Jill

 

Answer:

Hunh.  Jill, this camo vest has been on my mind lately.  Initially, when I first read your email, I didn't love it...but...well...it's growing on me.  The vest is growing on me!  And I always like a challenge.  So: I thought I'd try styling it up for a final verdict.  And you know what?  I think this vest could work!

 

Mom Street Style: Abby Rocks Cobalt Blue Denim (Plus Three More Ways To Style)

Mamas, Abby sent in this adorable picture of herself on her way to a baby shower.  She writes: 

 

I have been a huge fan of yours since discovering your blog after the birth of my Daughter. She is my second child and was born C-Section due to her being breach. I was so discouraged and frustrated with my body changes and in tears over the lack of selection in my wardrobe. Until I found your blog. You helped me feel "normal". I could relate to you because you do not tout perfection. You help us all breath easier and enjoy a sense of comfort in candidness. Your transparency freed me from the pressure to look a certain way within a certain time frame. (Nano-seconds after child birth? No thanks, Hollywood!)

I remember being in tears from laughing so hard at your recounting of trying on shaper-camis only to get stuck! I was laughing harder than I had laughed in a long time and thought "Finally, someone has the courage to write what we are all feeling, thinking, struggling with!"

You had me at "Jelly Belly"!

You have inspired me to try looks I never would have been brave enough to dare..to think differently about my wardrobe.

WOW.  Thank you, Abby.  Your words made my day.  And I'm sharing your words here not to throw a parade in my honor (yay me! yay me! yay-SHUT UP)...but because I know so many other mamas out there are probably reading and nodding (and me too).   We feel ya, Abby.  YES. DOWN WITH PERFECTION!!

But Mamas...Abby also had a question:

So here is my take on the Cobalt Skinny jeans..I'm still not sure I got it "right" and am still wanting ways to work this bold color (hello, shoes..what shoes does one wear with these for a more casual look?) without looking like a Crayon explosion. I happened to be going to a Baby Shower, hence the heels. You do not find me in these normally! 

Abby, here's how I'd wear them:

Holiday Style: Glam Up Your Momiform (AKA Your Daily Mom Uniform)

Mamas, this is so similar to Sex Up A Day Dress.  Basically, just grab a bunch of glitzy-glam accessories, and pile 'em on!  Add high heels and a clutch, of course.  

The thing about this styling tip that I really, really like is this:  It forces you out of an accessory rut.

Since I really found my own personal style during the minimalist 90's...I tend to be accessory adverse.  If I adorn, it's usually with one statement piece.  Add a belt too?  Crazytown.  I tend to live by that old advice, "look in the mirror and remove one accessory".  It's Coco Chanel, for crying out loud.  How can that be bad?

  The thing is...whenever you start any fashion rule with "always"...you're eventually going to get yourself in trouble.  At some point, somewhere, your own rule will hold you back.  At best, it'll hold you back from experimentation, at worst...15 years later you'll realize that no one else wears hair scrunchies anymore.  Know what I mean?

So experiment.  Especially during the holiday season.  The holidays are filled with so much stuff:  lights, tinsel, glitter, shiny objects, bows, ribbons, BAM BAM POW....you really can't overdo it.  You'll just look...festive.  

So here's how I used a little BAM BAM POW to transform my typical daily momiform into something ready to party...

(wearing Playground:J.Crew Perfect Shirt in Black Watch $68, Levi's 535 skinnies on sale for $35, old boots but found similar on sale for $119)

(wearing Party: shirt above, Stylemint Lola black skinnies $60, Aerosoles Tapestry Pumps in red suede on sale for $49, vintage bag - similar at Target $15, headband is ancient but am loving this one for $38, old Chan Luu necklace but think this would be MUCH better)

A few notes:

• See my statement necklace?  It's hard to see, isn't it?  Like I mentioned the other day, I really need a new one.  The ideal situation is when there's enough contrast between your shirt and your necklace to really make the jewels pop. Dark-on-dark lacks oomph.  
• I love how clean a button-down + necklace looks when buttoned all the way up to the top.  HOWEVER...it's important to show some skin.  So roll up the sleeves.
• Because this outfit is so casual, you can get away with a fancy updo, and still not look stuffy.  (If that's your thing.  I am hair-styling challenged, so I wore mine down.)  It would be fun to see a fancy french twist with a sparkly comb sticking out.  

 

I also asked Cam how she'd take her daily momiform out on the town.  She came back with "how about a graphic tee?"

Yesssssss.  

 (wearing Day: A+ro sweater or similar on sale, Forever 21 tee or similar $15, Jbrand jeggings $118, Steve Madden Troopa boots $99, Timi & Leslie Diaper Bag $155)

(wearing Night:  Forever 21 tee or similar $15, Jbrand jeggings$118, Forever 21 blazer - S loves this one, Express clutch or similar $25, earrings DIY, bracelets Old Navy, Target wedges $30) 

 

There's lots to love about Cam's outfit...here's what jumps out:

• A blazer adds instant sophistication.  Even with a graphic tee, she looks ready to go Out (with a capitol "O").
• Because she's so covered up, I love that she shows a little wrist and ankle.  In fact, her skinnies are so perfectly hemmed (sheistall*cough*amodel*cough)...that I want to run right out to the tailor.
• Again, check out the glitz:  big-girl earrings, shiny bag, glam cuff
• See her shoes? They are colorful, without "matching".  The lesson?  Don't over-think it. 

 

And MAN...that girl can rock a sexy look.  I need to take notes.  After Wednesday's sex-kitten-gone-wrong pose, I attempted to redeem myself.  "Mike, does this look sexy?" I asked:

"Sure, Babe" he responds, shrugging his shoulders.  And then seeing the look on my face he quickly corrects, "I mean YEAH!  Sexy!  Yeah!"

Sigh.  Clearly, I need to practice Cam's glare.  So. Awesome.

xo,

S

Holiday Style: Try A Monochrome Palette (Especially in White...)

There's something about white that just feels so...fancy.  And it's totally unexpected during the holiday season.  I've been feeling all chic snow-princess in my all-white ensembles against a a vast sea of little black dresses, sleek black coats, and dark denim.  It's fun.  

Mom Street Style: Mary Makes Workwear "Work" At Home

Mamas, reader Mary sent us the following adorable pictures:

She wrote:  

Hello! My name is Mary, and I am the mother of three - 8 months, 2 years, and an almost 4 year old. I found your blog a few weeks ago via Camp Patton, and I have really enjoyed cruising around it since. I happened upon your Mom Street Style feature and thought, what the heck, I will save Molly from having to approach a random stranger : ) My oldest took these pics (and another million, in an attempt to get one or two that wasn't blurry) - I'm wearing Target super skinny black jeans, New York and Co white button down, 5 /48 charcoal grey boyfriend blazer (or similar), black embellished Franco Sarto flats (they have a tiny wedge - similar here)  and Citizen Eco Drive watch. Super comfy, nursing friendly, yet polished for running errands or what have you. 

Nice work, Mary!!  You've put old work basics to good use running around with the kiddos.  And is it just me, or are black jeans having a moment?  I've been LOVING mine...and they suddenly seem to be popping up everywhere. Amazing that they can look so sleek...yet still give off a rocker vibe. Here, Mary uses them to balance the preppy blazer & white shirt combo.  And the popped collars are so chic.  Nice. 

Mary, BTW, is a blogger herself.  She writes the blog, With My Sisters, as a way of keeping in touch.  "My sisters and I are close but geographically distant. I hope to use this space to share what I would if I were with my sisters - books, movies, fashion, makeup, recipes, random facts, life and love advice - you know, girl talk."  

Having a sister, I do know.  What fun.  And I love her seven quick style tips.

Also, in a totally unrelated note, I received an email a while back from a reader asking how to wear black/brown together.  Which I love.  But I'm betting other mamas out there are also rocking the black/brown.  Anyone want to add their two cents?  Send me a pic (and I'll give credit of course) and we'll see if we can pull together a whopper of a black/brown inspiration board.  

Mary, you fabulous Mama, thank you so much for writing in!!

xo,

S

Shop Your Closet: Pile on the Plaids (Even if they don't match)

Trying too hard almost always backfires for me.  Like when I try to match.  In any way.   I end up looking too matchy-matchy or just...off.  And feeling horribly uncomfortable.  My best outfits are often the ones I just threw together.  So when I came across the following Gap ad...well. 

Unknown Gap Stylist, thank you for saving me from myself.

I love this idea.  And really, with all of the mixed prints lately...why not?  Especially when you can anchor the look with rockin' black denim.

 (wearing: Stylemint Waverly Shades, $30, and Lola skinnies in black,$60, J.Crew flannel - similar style, J.Crew men's wool plaid scarf - similar, MIA Buckaroo boots, now sold out, but here are ones with a similar fold-over for only $109)

 

Throwing a plaid scarf over a flannel is obviously taking the easy way out.  So this past weekend, when shopping with my mama (yay!) I doubled up on plaid flannels:

Skinny denim haters, this outfit is for you

(wearing:  J.Crew flannel - similar style, Cropped plaid from Vintage Havana - similar here by LNA, Mother Denim "The Drama' High Waist Flares, $220, Dansko Rhianna boots, a few sizes are available here for $107, or try the Nakita boot, $195 for a similar heel and studded toe, my fringe bag is old...here's a similar one from Threadsense.)

So in summary, when it comes to super-soft cozy flannel...more is more?  Yeah, baby.  Color me plaid.

xo,

S

Shop Your Closet: Wear Black and Navy...Deliberately

(wearing: Stylemint Lola Jeans in black, an old Theory button-down - similar, cropped navy sweater from Ann Taylor - similar, Mia Buckaroo Boots - can be found on eBay...or I'd wear these in a heart-beat)

Mamas, we just spent the most ah-mazing week in Baltimore.  Have you been?

Mike was there all week on business, staying at some fancy-schmancy hotel we'd never normally afford (*cough $300 a night *cough)...so my choices were thus:

1.  Stay at home for a week - alone with the boys -  while they whined for Dad

2.  Go and play all day long in the kid-wonderland that is Baltimore

Easy decision.  But I was on strict orders from Mike:  "Babe - you can only come if you ask me for nothing all week.  I'm serious - NOTHING."

Um...OK.  Geez.  Like I'm high-maintenance or something. (Says the girl who routinely wakes her husband up at 3AM for a glass of water.)

But anyway. We all went, I asked Mike for nothing, and we all had a blast.  After Mr. Important was done  with his week-long meeting, he joined us for playtime.  And boy, that aquarium sure is somethin'.

Of course, you are more interested in the outfit. Black and navy.  Together.  Like you mean it. 

I kinda loved it.  It felt....sophisticated?  No, that's not quite the word I want.  It felt cool, but in a French-girl kinda way.  Gamine!  That's it.  I felt positively gamine.  Hence the attempt at fancy eyeliner.

And Mamas, I'm wearing Stylemint's new skinny jeans.  They came out a while ago, but didn't look like much online.  The online pics make them look almost baggy at the ankles.  So I ignored them.  HOWEVER...they are only $60, so in the interest of "research" I caved.  And am so glad I did.  I've barely taken them off since.  

Anyway, I've been warming up to the whole navy-and-black thing since last fall when Emerson Frye styled their fab navy peacoat with black skinnies (see it here on Pinterest).  I think the key is to go all-in.  I like the pop of white to make the black/navy color distinction clear.  (Gray, I think, would also work.)

I wore this outfit several times last week, including on our playdate with Mike.  It's one of the few outfits that went from day-to-night effortlessly, without high heels.  Bonus.  

(I'm also patting myself on the back because the navy sweater was an Ann Taylor sale rack steal for $4!!  And the white shirt is a old work standby that hasn't been touched in a looong time.  Love making use of old clothes.)

What do you think, Mamas?  Is navy and black in your future?  And who else LOOOOVES Baltimore??  We're planning a trip back in December to see the Polar Express in 4D (you feel wind, rain, etc.)  Wanna join?

xo,

S

Reader Q | This Poochy Mama Needs To Party! (but what to wear???)

Reader Question:

Hello ANMJ,

Six months ago, I googled "postpartum swimsuits" and spent a depressing half hour looking at one-pieces and tankinis that would have made my 20-year-old self run away screaming. Then I landed on your blog, and your article on tips for pooch-hiding swimwear...and your insistence that if you feel good in a bikini, you should wear a bikini, postpartum pooch be darned! Needless to say, I fell in love immediately.

 

I am closing in on 20 months postpartum, and I am ashamed to say that my ego has taken a huge hit. I was lucky enough to be relatively skinny prior to pregnancy, and I had smallish but wonderfully perky boobs, which I realize now I did not appreciate nearly enough. I always just thought that genetics were in my favor and I'd snap back to more or less myself within a few months' time--HA! I was vain, so vain. I'm currently 15-20 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight, my waistline measures the same as my 6-month preggo size (thank you, diastasis recti), and my breasts are larger but quite sadly jiggly. *shudder* I know that I'm supposed to be proud of myself for carrying a child and yadda yadda, but really, I just don't want to look pregnant anymore. Is that so much to ask?

 

Apparently, yes. Sigh. But enough of my complaining, right? I'm here because I need help dressing myself and I know you will point me in the right direction. Your attention to the actual needs of real moms (i.e. nursing, toddler-chasing, pooch-owning) have been eye-opening. (Empire waisted shirts aren't my friend, you say?)

 

So, here's my situation. I've surrendered to the fact that I will never be my "old self" again. But I still want to dress like my old self, if that makes sense. My five-year college reunion is coming up soon, and I can't wait to reconnect with my friends that have spread out across the country. Most of them have only seen me in carefully selected facebook photos, though, so I need to have a plan for pooch-patrol while we spend the weekend together. None of my pals have had children yet, so I can't rely on any "hey sister, I'm right there with ya" camaraderie.

 

HELP! Do I disguise the pooch with flowy tops that show off the jiggly boobs, do I Spanx myself into submission a la Gone With The Wind and shimmy into something form-fitting, do I distract everyone by wearing a brightly patterned dress that is slit up to there? Can I get away with a sequined dress? Are "body-con" dresses my friends or foes? Is leopard print still appropriate for a mama? There will be a lot of partying and dancing, and I don't want to look dowdy or matronly, but I just don't have the confidence to display my assets (such as they are) like I used to. I'd like to say that I want to be comfortable, too, but I'll happily sacrifice a bit of comfort for a waist that appears to be an inch or two smaller.

 

I feel like I'm twenty-something going on sixty-something, and it makes me sad. Usually I just ignore it and snuggle my toddler closer, but for this one weekend I'm going to be attempting to recapture my youth...and I just don't want to be the one who gets forgiven for her lack of fashion sense because "she had a baby".

 

Keep up the noble work!

XOX

K

Answer:

K, allow me some camaraderie for a moment:  I hear you.  I didn't appreciate my pre-baby boobs either.  Or how persistent diastasis truly is.  Sigh.  Screw pregnancy pictures.  Don't you wish you had posed for sexy photos in trashy lingerie at 6-8 weeks pregnant??  It's too early to see a belly, but man, the rack!  

Sadly, our tots will never be framed for posterity.

But let's get you out of the heart-breaking 'twenty-something going on sixty-something' vibe.  You are young and hot, and want to feel both young and hot at your 5 year collage reunion.  You want all of your friends to say, "OMG K looks so fabulous!  I never knew one could look so hot as a mom!"

Totally do-able. Here's the plan:

1.  No bodycon.

It sounds like a good idea in theory - diastasis bellies can sometimes just be wrapped up, right?  Yeah...no.  Not really.  Especially not at the end of the day, when eating and gravity have taken their toll and your poor stomach muscles are at their weakest.  You know how right before bed your pooch looks the worst?  Yeah - that's when you'll be going out. Bodycon is not a good plan.

2. Spanx it Baby...to within an inch of it's life

(Note:  Your pooch's life.  Not your life.)  

Spanx In-Power Line Super-Power Panties, $32

Get some awesome Spanx.  I like the ones that are undies with belly control, and bike shorts.  Sucks it all in sooooo gooooood.

Wear these all weekend long, both day and night.  If this were everyday real life, we'd talk about how important it is to be comfortable, and bust these out only on certain occasions, blah blah.  Your reunion is not real life.  Wear 'em all weekend.

3.  Get an AWESOME Bra. Or two.

K, make sure you have a bra that lifts and separates.  In a cute color or pattern so it can show.  That way, you don't need to worry about strapless bras* and saggin' girls...if your bra strap peeks out, who cares?  It's fabulous.  

*Let's just skip strapless dresses, too.

You need to find a store that specializes in bra fittings.  Victoria's Secret, while they do measure you, is not my favorite.  Find a specialty boutique, or maybe even Nordstroms.  If you have nothing around you, I'm currently sampling bras from True & Co, an online store that specializes in virtual bra fittings.  While I'm not sure they can replace the, uh, hands of an in-person expert, I've been pretty impressed so far.  And their price point rocks.  (More on that later!!!)

4. K, Meet Your Day Uniform:

 Free People Keep Me Tee, $58 | Maison Scotch for Free People Camo Feather Skinny, $125

This, my dear K, is so young and hot...and is also perfect for a post-partum Mama.  Really!!  Half-tuck a loose, drapy tee into a pair of comfortable printed skinnies and then try - just try - to write to me about sixty-something vibes.  Wearing (nude) Spanx will help hide the pooch even when the wind blows the shirt tight against the belly.

Cold?  Add a cardi, a denim jacket and a scarf.  Or throw a cool winter peacoat over the whole thing.

If you are feeling frisky, add fun big earrings (Hey, it's reunion time!) and a cool pendant necklace. Definetely try a bright lip.  

 

5. Your Night Uniform

I wear a version of the above outfit out at night All. The. Time.  I just swap low heels for big-girl shoes.  And maybe add an arm party of stacked bracelets. But since you were asking about party dresses....I'm thinking you might prefer something like this:

ASOS Swing Dress with Lace Sleeves, $53 | ASOS Metal Bow Clutch, $15 | ASOS Swing Dress in Baroque, $50 | Guess Ureekal Pump, $115

These are trapeze dresses, so the flare starts at the top of your bust, leaving your pooch will be well-hidden.  Add sexy, well-chosen accessories, and voila!  Personally, I'm dying for these red glitter and leopard print pumps (words I never thought I'd use in the same sentence).  And seriously K - what's this nonsense about "no leopard once you become a mom"?  PISH. PISH.  Bring it, Baby.  Especially for a young, hot Mama like yourself! 

One final note about trapeze dresses:  The key is to keep the dresses fairly short, so be prepared to hem.  Otherwise, they do start to veer into dowdy territory.  The good news, however, is that trapeze dresses look just as cute with thick, opaque tights as they do with bare legs.  

Lastly...if you have time (and are up for a little splurge)...go get a blowout.  It's my new favorite thing for big-time party-parties like this.  Gorgeous hair is an instant confidence booster.  

K, I hope this helps!!!  Have a fabulous time, hot mama!  And I'd love to see pics of whatever you decide!

xoxo

S

ps.  If the above isn't quite your style, check out our Pinterest board, Post-Partum Friendly. I've been pinning a bunch of other top and dress options there for you.