Ain't No Mom Jeans

A Must-Not Read

 I don’t need to tell you that there are countless books on babies, parenting and motherhood lining the bookshelves of your local Barnes and Noble. You could read non-stop until your child graduates from college and still you would have barely scratched the surface of all the reading material there is on the topic.

Reading: Growing Child Newsletters - Inspiring yet Practical Advice for Parents (based on your child's age)

Have you heard of the Growing Child newsletter?  If not, you are in for a treat. 
Growing Child is a monthly newsletter, sent via email (or post), that matches the age of your child.  When you sign up, you simply enter your child's birthday and voila!  You will receive the appropriate newsletter each month.

Growing Child newsletters cover developmental stages and quirks, tips and strategies for coping, as well as age-appropriate learning games and toy recommendations. 

What I like best, however, is the fact that their advice is real.  This is not a newsletter that will advocate the purchasing of expensive toys, or demand that that you redesign your entire house.  This is not a newsletter that assumes you have boundless patience, or endless amounts of time. 

This is simply a newsletter that started in 1971, and will, very patiently, explain to us newbie mums why manners are still important (hint:  it's all about "caring and consideration"), and what you can and cannot expect from your 2-year-5-month-old in terms of manners.  This is a newsletter that teaches parents specific language and behaviors to make us more effective parents (Say, "Hitting hurts Peter" rather than "Don't Hit"). This is a newsletter that encourages parents to focus on what's important:  helping your child develop courage and independence, empathy,  imagination.  

Attention Moms: Think 'Girls Gone Wild' is Dying Out? Think Again (And What To Do)

  Back in 2006, my husband bought me a fantastic book by Ariel Levy called, Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture.  In this book, Ariel explores the stratospheric rise in popularity of shows like "Girls Gone Wild" and our current sexual stereotypes of women.  But this book is more than just a rant.

It turns out that in order for shows like "Girls Gone Wild" to be successful, they need....well...girls.  They need girls to cooperate.  They need girls to willingly take off their shirts for the camera. And they do.  Why?  Ariel goes on set with a "Girls Gone Wild" camera crew and finds that all it takes, in most cases, is the promise of a "Girls Gone Wild" baseball hat.  So yeah - there's something else going on.  Add to that, the rise in celebrity of porn stars.  Porn stars are getting their own TV shows, are being interviewed in magazines for tips on sex.  Which strikes me as funny.  I mean....people know that porn is fake, right?  YES - porn is actual sex, but these women aren't really having 12 orgasms in a row.  They are just pretending to.

More upsetting, however, were the interviews Ariel did with current high school students - both boys and girls.  There was the usual stuff: girls wanting to be prettier, girls wanting to be thinner...but what struck me as new was the additional (self-imposed) "requirement" that girls now also be sexually sophisticated.  Not just active, mind you, but sophisticated. Sophisticated in a way that really isn't achievable by anyone still in their teens.  So what we've ended up with are high schools full of girls who look and act the part...but who still have no idea how to orgasm.  The bottom line?  These girls aren't enjoying it.  Like porn stars, they are pretending.

What We're Reading This Week: Potty Training Books

OK, yes, I know many of these books have been around for quite some time, but they are, in fact, what we're reading this week. With my sweet potato rounding out his 26th month of life on Earth and preschool starting in September, we're gearing up for the marathon that, apparently, is the feat of potty training a boy child.  We're loving reading these books as we sit on each of the three (yes, 3!) potties hanging around our happy home and wanted to share:       

Strategies to Avoid Looking Pregnant Once You've Given Birth (Plus an Exercise To Banish Post-Baby Belly)

It's a common complaint: You are 6 weeks postpartum, and are proud of yourself for, (A) being out of the house and (B) having showered and applied makeup.  As you are strutting happily along, babe in tow, you eventually run into some idiot who says, "So, when are you due?"    

This situation happens to us all, and my previous coping strategy was to simply bury the incident deep in my brain, never to be thought of again.  But then one of our readers left the following comment:  

I have several tops like these [NOTE: she's referring to the floaty tops featured in our Postpartum Belly Hiding Tops post] that I wore after giving birth in May, and I was so disappointed and embarrassed when people asked me if I was pregnant. I wanted to scream...hey, not everyone looks like Heidi Klum six weeks postpartum. But then I thought maybe it also had to do with the loose floaty tops I was wearing. Any suggestions for this problem? I'm pregnant again and want to AVOID this situation in the future!

Sigh.  It's best to face this situation head-on.  So, is there anything we can do to avoid looking pregnant after we've given birth?  

The short answer is:  No.  Not really.  Our bodies just went through 9 months of crazy changes - it's not going to be undone overnight.  One O/B told me to think about it this way:  It takes 9 months for your body to get that big, it's probably going to take another 9 months for your body to go back to normal.  At least.  And as someone who got scary-big (click link then scroll down for a pic), I get it. 

There are, however, a few strategies worth trying: