Ain't No Mom Jeans

New Year's Resolution: War On Wrinkles (A Three Step Plan)

Isn't this a cute pic?  Don't I look well-rested and happy?   

Snort.

Happy, yes, but I  haven't been well-rested in over two years.  And the photo (originally) showed it. So I retouched all of the bags and wrinkles out of my eyes.  I'd post the "before" shot, but really, I'm too vain. Trust me - it wasn't pretty.  

At some point after Raines was born, I realized that I wasn't, in fact, 26 years old.  I'm not sure how that happened, actually.  When caught off guard, I still think I'm 26.  It's my default forever age.  I'll blame my mother - she successfully lied about her age for years.  YEARS.  To my Dad, even.  The key, she says, is to make sure that you walk the fine line between making yourself sound younger while keeping the fake age high enough so people still think you look good.  

I don't look 26.  Really.  I should know this by now. I'm well into my 30s, and maybe it's time to embrace that old cliche, "getting old gracefully".

Which means what, exactly?  That I embrace my wrinkles, baggy eyes, and stop "forgetting" that I'm over 30?

%*$# that. 

New Plan: A War on Wrinkles.  This plan will entail one part prevention, one part treatment, and one part denial.  The denial part I can handle on my own.  But the prevention and treatment part...I needed some help.  And I needed it FAST.  So I stuck Raines in the stroller, handed him a bag of popcorn, and ran into Nordstrom's.  I found Tara, my very favorite Nordstrom's skin care specialist.  

"You have 20 minutes" I told her.  "To get rid of...THESE.  And THESE.  Your mission:  make me look like a hot young mom."  Tara nodded seriously.

Wrinkle Prevention

 According to Tara (and OK, to every dermatologist and skin care specialist), prevention is key.  Wearing a broad-spectrum sunscreen on your face and neck every day is non-negotiable.  Omitting this step is like asking for wrinkles.  In the past, I had used Neutrogena's Ultra Dry Touch Sunscreen (but didn't love the texture) and Aveeno's Positively Ageless Sunscreen (but didn't love the smell). Both products are great inexpensive sunscreen options, but I wanted something a bit more luxurious.  Something I didn't mind putting on my face everyday.  

Tara recommended 3Lab's Perfect Sunblock SPF 55 PA+++, $55 for a large tube.  It blocks both UVA and UVB rays, has a perfect non-greasy but not weird texture, is loaded with anti-oxidents (green tea, acai fruit, etc), as well as natural anti-inflammatories.  And it doesn't smell.  Or contain parabens.  In short, I love it.  

Wrinkle Treatment

If money is tight, Tara says to spend your money where you'll get the biggest bang for your buck: on treatments.  Treatments are not moisturizers.  They are not toners, or exfoliators, or preps.  Treatments are what you put on your face before your moisturizer, before your sunscreen.  Treatments help get rid of wrinkles.  Come to mama. 

     

For a really good, all around anti-aging product that will help reduce the appearance of wrinkles, loss of elasticity, sagginess, redness, large pores, etc. Tara recommended Perricone MD's Cold Plasma, $150.  It has a crazy amount of neuro-peptides and DMAE, which means that you won't see results instantly, but over the course of several weeks you should see improvement to your skin.  And so far (3 weeks in), I have.  This product is pricy, but, if I understand Tara correctly, spend your money on treatments and skimp on moisturizer. Moisture is cheap.  High quality neuro-peptides are not.

Tara's favorite eye treatment, from among the vast array of products she had to pick from, was Osmotic's Eye Surgery, $68.  This product you smear around your entire eye - including the lid.  It contains tetra-peptides, and will help with wrinkles, dark circles, puffiness and crepey lids.  You should see results in several weeks.  And I am.  My wrinkles are not gone, but they are much reduced. 

What Wrinkles?

If you can't see the wrinkles, they aren't there.  So....don't look for them.  Put on your treatment products, wear sunscreen, big sunglasses and dim the lights in the bathroom.  And for those tell-tale photos...just do a little retouch.  Most of your free photo-editing software will do the trick.  Just zoom waaay in on your wrinkles, and go slowly.  On my Mac, I use the "Retouch" function in iPhoto, which is free.  My husband, however, swears by Aperture, $199.  It's a cheaper version of Photoshop for Macs.   

For a good list of photo-editing software, check out About's Top Digital Photo Software.

I will, eventually, lose this war on wrinkles.  But until then, I'm 29.

xo,

S

 

How To Bring Back Your Fab Pregnancy Hair and Save the Environment By Using the Right Shampoo

I believe that I, S, have found the secret to fabulous, shiny hair:  get pregnant. 

The problem with that philosophy is that it eventually ends.  No matter how long you breastfeed, your hormones eventually stabilize, while your fabulous hair falls out and goes back to it's normal dull, limp, frizzy state.  (I should know - I've been testing the limit on breastfeeding to prevent the return of crap hair).  So my consolation prize?  John Master's Organics shampoo and conditioner.  It is the closest approximation I have found to fabulous pregnancy hair.  I have tested this completely unscientific survey on myself and my mother.  Here are the "facts":

I have long, sometimes veering on tragically-long colored hair that is otherwise in pretty good condition for living in the high altitude desert that is Denver.  John Master's Evening Primrose Shampoo For Dry Hair and the Honey and Hibiscus Hair Reconstructor leave my hair soft, shiny, and almost pregnancy-like.  Seriously.

My mother uses the same conditioner, but she also uses his Honey and Hibiscus Hair Reconstructing Shampoo.  Her post-chemo hair grew back curly, and is now going a bit gray, so she ends up with frequent coloring in a very humid climate.  As a result, her hair texture is coarse.  The changes this shampoo-conditioner pair wrought were virtually tear-inducing.  In a happy way, of course.  NOTE:  I started with the Honey and Hibiscus Hair Reconstructing Shampoo, but it was too heavy for me.  This is a serious shampoo for seriously dry or coarse hair.  

NYE In

New Year’s Eve is my favorite holiday.  Not only is it the biggest party of the year (which means fun party dresses and sparkly shoes) but it is a time of rebirth and celebration.  NYE is the time to celebrate the past year’s successes and failures, and look forward to all of the adventures to come. It’s a time to reinvent yourself, a time to decide what stays, what goes.  Out with obsessing over wrinkles, in with more yoga and acceptance!  (And a splurge on that expensive eye cream.)  No wonder all of the gyms and yoga studios are packed every January.  Reinventing yourself takes work -- which is why I like to go all out for NYE.  It is a milestone - we made it another year!  Cheers!  And I vow to be even better next year! Cheers again!

Last year was a little different.  I was 9 months pregnant, but was still determined to go out, wear something sparkly and have some champagne.   I had a blast -- and delivered a few days later.  Before I had little man, I expected that by now, a year later, we would be pros at this parenting thing.  We would’ve had our babysitter booked and would be all set for a night on the town sans kid!  Whoo hoo, baby!  What an idiot.  First of all, no one wants to babysit on NYE, and second of all, my son is still nursing, going through separation anxiety, and is just not baby-sittable.  And....to be honest....a night on the town sounds fun, but it’s a little “been there, done that.”  So this year we’re getting together with some friends, making fancy food, and drinking and eating our way into the New Year.  It’s a bring-the-kiddos-and-stay-in kind of NYE.  So now, my big dilemma....what do I wear?  I need to be comfortable (and be able to nurse), but it’s NYE darn it!!  I need to feel festive!  There are two options I’m toying with......

The Best of Breast Cancer Awareness Goods

If you’re a mom, chances are that “the girls” have been through a lot lately.  Even if you didn’t breastfeed, you still had to deal with watching them rise to horrific proportions when pregnant, leaking milk, soreness, and slapping your husband’s hand away when they became engorged.  If you did (or currently are) breastfeeding, add bad latching, letdown, teething and what my girlfriends refer to as the “tube sock effect” to the list.  Ugh.  The girls could use some TLC.  October is Breast Cancer Awareness month and a perfect time of year to focus on the girls.  So get in the shower, give yourself a breast exam, and treat yourself to some goodies whose proceeds benefit breast cancer research.  Oh yeah -- and once you’re nice and relaxed, schedule that mammogram.